On Grief + Love

Grief comes when it comes. And I have learned that I can either attempt to avoid it or reject it— I can hate it – or I can let it be my reminder of love. That I can let it wash over me and remind me of my own resilience and humanity. My depth and goodness. And I can use it as an invitation to find presence and priorities and let go of whatever isn’t aligned with the life I want for myself.

Real talk. If I had known my mother was going to die, there’s a lot that I might have done differently. If I’m being completely honest, I sometimes wonder if I would have had children. Being motherless and deep in grief with a 2 month old and a 1 and a half year old is an experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. And mothering without the anchor of a mother is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in life.

And then came the grief of divorce and shared custody. Not being able to be with my mother or my babies, especially on important days like Christmas, feels unbearable at times. I ache as the grief manifests with physical sensations. It can still feel hard to breathe sometimes. Hard to believe that I’ll know how to navigate it all.

And yet, here I am.

Because that’s the other thing about grief. It reminds me that I am capable. That nothing lasts forever, so it must be savored while it can be.

If you’re grieving in this season, I hope you know that you are not alone.

That you are capable.

And that the depth of your grief isn’t a reflection of your capacity to manage hard things, but rather a reflection of your capacity to love.

There is nothing wrong with you if you are grieving and gutted over something that seems small, or a loss that happened decades ago.

There is nothing wrong with you if you are sad or grieving for any reason. 

There is nothing wrong with you.

You are beautiful and your grief is a sign that you have loved. 

Sending you love and my deepest appreciation for your presence in this community,

With love,

Victoria


PS: I am currently taking one or two new clients for one on one coaching. If you're ready to surrender, to cultivate more ease, or to stop feeling broken, stuck, or like everything is freaking hard, let's schedule a call. I'd love to support you.