On Surrender + Letting Go
On Sunday night I got to co-facilitate a workshop at my local (amazing!) yoga studio around surrendering.
It's fall, eclipse season– it’s the perfect time to think about letting go and surrender.
As the leaves fall all around me, I am reminded that in order for nature to bloom again in the spring, it first has to shed.
I wonder if the trees try to cling desperately to the cold, dead leaves, begging them not to leave, scared of the uncertainty of what will come once the leaves are gone?!
For most of us the idea of letting go or surrender is terrifying.
It’s because we’re wired to try and keep ourselves safe and comfortable.
There is literally a part of your brain that will do just about anything to avoid the terrifying fear that comes when we let go.
What if everything falls apart and I’m left all alone with nothing?!?!?!
Our brain can’t tolerate the thought.
Good enough is good enough, even when it doesn’t feel good, doesn’t fit, and isn’t aligned with our goals.
But babe, we can do hard things.
We can navigate discomfort, especially when we know it’s getting us closer to our dreams and desires!
This is why I led the group in hypnotherapy and journaling.
Why we engaged our subconscious minds, to show our thinking, conscious minds what is actually possible and what we desire.
Our subconscious already knows.
It’s pruning for us.
Showing up the way to what’s ready to go.
What’s no longer aligned.
Surrender.
What does surrender mean to me?
It’s not giving up or talking yourself out of something.
Surrender isn’t walking away or checking out.
For me, surrender is reverent acceptance.
It’s almost holy in how it honors the experience we’re having.
It’s rooted in trust.
Surrender isn’t giving up, it’s accepting that I already know, and now I just have to get out of the way and allow what I know to emerge.
There have been many moments where I’ve leaned and practiced surrender.
Most notably when my mother was dying and every part of me wanted to busy myself researching alternative solutions and fighting, instead of accepting what I already knew was true. She was dying and I could either try and force what I wanted to be true, or I could be present with what was.
I never could have imagined how little time we had left and I am always grateful that I chose acceptance, even when I thought I might die from the pain of the grief and loss, because it allowed me to be present with her in moments that I’ll cherish forever.
But surrender also happens when I want motherhood to look and feel a certain way and my kids have other plans.
When I have a timeline and schedule and the traffic patterns in NYC have different plans.
When what I want to be true isn’t what’s real and I have to decide whether to push and force something or choose acceptance and surrender to what is, trusting that I’ll know how to navigate it.
Friend, what’s something that you’re struggling to tell yourself the truth about, that maybe you’re not ready to accept?
What are you pretending not to know? Or pretending that everything is fine, when you know it isn’t?
What if you could surrender?
Let it go.
Allow the leaves to fall and die so that new buds can emerge?
You deserve all the good things that are coming, love.
It’s safe to let go of what’s no longer working.
I love you.
With love + solidarity,
Victoria
PS: I am currently taking one or two new clients for one on one coaching. If you're ready to surrender, to cultivate more ease, or to stop feeling broken, stuck, or like everything is freaking hard, let's schedule a call. I'd love to support you.