On Perfectionism + Staying Stuck
I shared this on my Instagram today, but wanted to share more with you…
When you find yourself feeling stuck trying to figure out what the “right thing to do” is in a given situation, I invite you to zoom all the way back out and remember that there is no one right thing to do.
There is only the next best thing.
And it’s far more important that you know why you’re making the decision that you’re making than that it be perfect. Perfect is an illusion.
You’re not stuck, you’re probably scared of making a mistake.
Whether it’s in your anti-racist work, as a parent, in relationships, or how you’re cooking your favorite meal tonight— perfectionism is a manifestation of our fears. It’s deeply entrenched in white supremacy culture, and it’s a tool that’s used to uphold the status quo.
Perfect is an illusion. Maybe nothing is ever perfect or maybe everything is already perfect. But regardless, spinning our wheels and chasing perfection is self-indulgent and allows us to avoid the real work of taking action, cultivating ease, and chasing the life we desire.
I don’t say that because I think we like being stuck here, or that it feels good. It’s terrible! For me, perfectionism comes with profound anxiety and it consumes a tremendous amount of energy. It leaves me feeling disempowered, uncertain, judging, and in the energy of proving myself. But perfectionism is a manifestation from inside our own brains when our brain tries to have us avoid discomfort. Perfectionism is literally a tool that our brain uses to try and stay comfortable! It’s also a tool used by the white supremacy patriarchy to keep us spinning our wheels, doubting our voices & power, and staying small— complacent. It’s ingrained and reinforced in our socialization and breaking the pattern takes work.
Understanding how this all works, why it’s here, and how to navigate it is key and it’s also a game-changer! It’s how we reclaim our sense of empowerment, our self-trust, and our ability to take imperfect, informed action towards the life and society we want to see.
Perfectionism keeps us spinning, disempowered, and in inaction. Disrupting this pattern allows us to see and appreciate that the next right thing is all we need to do.
To take small, thoughtful, informed actions towards our goals.
This is exactly the kind of work that happens inside of The Disrupters Group Coaching Community— looking at our socialization, our patterns and beliefs, and our actions (or inaction!) and then peeling back the layers to find healing so that we can build our capacity for taking action and facilitating liberation.
And this week we are expanding this amazing community to be better than ever…
For the first time ever folks in this amazing community have access to learn not only from me, Victoria but also from my incredible friends and colleagues. For the first time, ever members of The Disrupters get access to a self-paced Foundational DEI Workshop facilitated by myself and the amazing Jen Fry of JenFryTalks! For the first time, ever members of The Disrupters get access to an online portal full of resources to enhance their learning around topics of race, racism, whiteness, antiracism, and allyship.
If you’re ready to stop feeling stuck.
To stop spending your precious time and energy spinning your wheels and overthinking, there’s no better time than now to join!
