On "Shoulds" + Reconnecting with Yourself

I've spent most of this week beating myself up with "shoulds" and trying to force something. It's been a minute since I've dropped in your inbox with a note and I was feeling like I'm supposed to be more consistent. Like if I didn't have something brilliant and important to share with you the whole community would somehow disappear. LOL at how my brain and ego can be SO extra! Our brains love some drama. But we also love to follow a prescription, don't we?

Anyway, I sat here all week trying to force some insight. This morning I finally decided to stop thinking about what to write and to just meditate with the goal of connecting with myself, and this is the message that came through so clearly:

There is nothing that you have to cling to in order to have in your life, and no need to perform. Connection comes organically when you just focus on being.

What if you do your best work and make the deepest connections when you stop trying to cling to "shoulds" and stop trying to perform the way you think they want you to? What if you do your best work and make the deepest connections when you settle into just being?

So I’m dropping in today with the reminder that taking some time to reconnect with yourself is never a bad idea!

The funny part is that I coach clients alllll the time on how to get out of their heads, away from their “shoulds” and into their bodies, to cultivate more trust and intuition. And yet, I still fall into the same pattern sometimes!

But what I’ve learned is that when things are starting to feel forced, untrue, or disconnected, taking some time to reconnect with myself is always a good idea. A few mindful moments to just breath or find presence, to explore my own needs or fears in the moment, and to send some loving energy inwards is like medicine.

Generally when I’m trying to force things or feeling pressure to perform in a certain way it’s because there’s a part of me that’s scared. For me it’s often a fear that if I’m really being my truest most authentic self that people won’t like or accept me. That I’m too much or not enough but never just right. So in those moments I honor that fear and the part of me that is paralyzed by it and then I remind myself that as long as I am wrapped up in my own love and acceptance, other people’s perspectives won’t hold much weight.

So today I invite you to take a few minutes to reconnect with yourself.

How can you love and accept yourself even just 2% more?

Can you trust that when you stop trying to force things or to perform your role in a certain way you’ll find the truest, best way forward?

Can you trust that allowing yourself to just be is safe and that you’re worth it?

You are worth it, I promise.

I hope you have the best day!

With love,

Victoria